To the Bride & Groom

I was my sister's Maid of Honor on September 4, 2016.  I am one of those people who works better under pressure, so I wrote out a vague outline of my speech on the tiny pad of paper in our hotel room after the rehearsal dinner. Her is what I remember of what I actually said:

Emily is the person you go to when you can't pull up IMDB on your phone and you have a question about that one movie you watched once. She has an almost eidetic memory and can remember every little detail —even the ones you don't want her to.

I met Emily at an ultrasound. The doctor thought I would be thrilled to have a baby sister—I wasn't. I wanted a brother. I'm pretty sure Arik is glad I didn't have a brother.

I am Emily's oldest sister, her maid of honor, part-time torturer, full-time defender and I always called her my Jiminy Cricket. When we were kids she always asked if we should be doing something. --Hey Emmy, are you sure you should be doing this? [She said, "Absolutely!"] In truth, she often kept me out of trouble, although sometimes I dragged her kicking and screaming along with me. Sarah and I, and when Rachel got older, the three of us often thought Emily had gone off to tattle on us, when in truth, she had pretended that was what she was doing and just went to read a book instead. We would unwittingly confess what we'd done not knowing that mom didn't already know.  Although being a good kid didn't keep Emily out of jail…
Granted it was the Michigan Renaissance Festival and we'd throw each other behind bars all the time, mostly so we could watch The Unicorn Dance. Holly- you've seen some of Emily's dance moves (I moved my head in a facsimile of a classic Emily dance move) and the rest of you will later discover that she doesn't really ever move her hips to dance!
Renn Fest and a community theatre production of Camelot lead to Emily and Arik meeting.
Emily joined the Society for Creative Anachronism. It was 5 years ago, at an event that Morwenna (Sherri Gilson) came up to Emily and I and said "There's a new guy in our Shire, he's single!" I met him an I was like, "eh, whatever." Emily thought he was cute, but then we heard he had a girlfriend, and that solidified neither of us being interested in him. (Arik interjected that we could've saved him from that.)
So, for several years (Arik held up 3 fingers) the only thing Emily said to Arik was "His name is Sam, he'll sit if you tell him." Her golden retriever recognized their love long before Emily did.
When Arik finally got up the courage to ask Emily out, it didn't go so well for him. He came down to an SCA event we were holding in our area just to see her. Unfortunately, Emily's coworker had a death in the family and asked if she could cover a shift, so she scooted out early. Arik worked up the nerve to talk to her and she was gone. So he spent twenty minutes composing a note -on church stationary- that I had to pass on to her. (Emily proclaimed "I still have it!") I'm really nosy and I'm quite proud of myself for not reading that note!
So here we are at their wedding. Please raise your glasses as we thank the parents Mark & Marilyn and Kathleen & Paul. And to the bride and groom, may you have a long, awesome, and amazing adventure together forever! Cheers!